An Ohio man has been charged with four counts of public indecency after being videotaped in th act of making sweet, sweet love to the umbrella hole of his patio furniture.

Yeah, you read that correctly…FOUR counts. And that is because he has a habit of doing this and his neighbors recorded it.

I think the worse part of this story is that he’s not just some lonely loser who gets all drunk and horny then screws his lawn ornaments, but he’s a married man with three, school-aged children at home.